Friday, April 15, 2011

The Right Mentality

First of all The Back Eyed Peas ROCK!!! Okay.

At our group on Monday everyone weighed in for the second time. I was amazed by the progress from just one week. Eight or more of us loosing an average of two pounds each. We now have six dedicated women going to the gym 5am next week. So exciting. We are in this! More support each week. We are all rooting for each other. Doesn't matter what gym you go to. Keep it up girls!

A while back I had a pretty amazing experience. I debated on whether or not to share this. I decided it would benefit us all.

I LOVE running/ jogging/ chunky trotting ;) outside for exercise. I have always loved it. The other evening it started poring rain while I was out. It was the most amazing thing. What was I going to do? Stop? No. I had to get home somehow. It empowered me. It was like magic rain. I ran harder and faster and longer than I ever have.

I was headed past the isle of fast food restaurants, I mean you name it, it's there on that street.

For those of you who do know me, know I can not SMELL. It may seem sad. It doesn't really bother me unless my house is filling with smoke and I can't smell it. I remember being able to smell when I was a child. Anyway. I can't smell poop, throw up, sour dish rags, body odor, cat pee, etc. All those gross smells. Along with the good smells. Aaaww, sad. I may have pretended to smell something if someone asks me, "Ooh how does this smell?" I don't want to go into the whole explanation. I just smile and give an, "Ooh, it smells very nice :)" Sorry if I've done that to you, now you know. I don't have a sense of smell.

I started walking quickly past Wendy's, then Taco Bell, Blimpie's, & McDonalds, a place we stopped often back when. I felt as if something was luring me in. It's not like I was going to walk in from my run and order a double cheeseburger, plus I didn't even have any money. But it made me angry that I even felt that. I became even more angry thinking about all the times I had been through the drive through. Come on when the drive through guy knows your name, I'm sorry it's time to stop or at least go next door to Taco Bell!

No just kidding he didn't know our name...... I knew his name. Lol.

I was SO angry I had the urge to flip off those damn places. I can't blame anyone but myself, I was mad at myself! How did I get here? Why did I do this to myself? I just wanted to SCREAM!!!

I neared the end of the evil row of greasy foods and one last thing sent me...................

The- AROMA -of fast food filled my head...... I smelt it as clear as day...... I stopped for a second not believing what was happening. I didn't want people to watch me as started crying so I kept walking. I knew the smell the minute it entered my nose. REALLY??? really. I have never smelt something so real in my life. It was like one last shove it in my face. One last temptation. One last realization that I am never going back there. Back there as in the time of my life when I was sad, depressed and fat sitting on my couch eating unhealthy, being lazy, and just not doing anything about it.

I continued walking home crying and praying that I would have the strength to make this journey toward health and happiness. That my body would respond to my efforts as I work so hard to achieve the goals I have set for my self. Ever since that experience something changed inside of me. I'm here, I'm ready.

This experience put me into the mentality that I am in now. Bring it on.

I have run past those same fast food places many times since then. Not once have I smelled the food again, and I probably never will.

Thanks for reading.



Katie said...


You are amazing. This post was beautiful and I'm so glad you shared it. I really needed this right now.

Great to see you tonight.

Shan said...

Karlie, I loved this & totally needed this! THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

Nice post just what I needed, good luck on your journey!

The Author said...

Well this was just wonderful, Karlie. Thank you miss.