.... i just wanna see the floating lanterns gleam!
(Tangled, much?)
So, Karlie's post got me thinking. There are so many things I WISH I could do, but have never tried because of my weight. Now, these are not things that I couldn't do--because I see "bigger" girls doing them--but I would never feel comfortable doing it with the way my body is or was.
Dancing. I LOVE dancing. When I was skinnier, I always wanted to go to the club and dance but could never get any of my friends/family to go with me. Now that I'm bigger (and married... and have kids...) I STILL WANT TO GO! Now I'm too self-conscious and feel like I'd just gross everyone out. (Plus this girl's got no rhythm.)
When I was living in Las Vegas there was a group of mamas that got together for activities. One of the activities they were planning was belly dancing. I wanted to go SO bad. Belly dancing has always intrigued me. The movements, the music, the culture--beautiful. I didn't go.
Doesn't that look amazing and FUN? I should have gone.
Sports. I have always and forever wanted to play sports. My mom and dad put me in several different sports growing up but they fizzled out by middle school. In high school I would go cheer my friends on at every game. I was even the score-keeper for the basketball team for a while. It was so much fun to see my friends doing awesome things. I was very happy for them but most nights I would come home depressed. I wished so badly that I could be out there on the field/court/whatever with my friends and not sitting on the sidelines. I felt so limited because of my body.
I was at work the other day and I was talking to my boss. She's on a roller derby team and I was asking her about the game strategy, etc.
She turned to me and said, "You could do it."
Me: (Loud laughter turns into nervous laughter as I realize she's serious.) "There's no way I could do that. I'd need to lose 50 lbs and learn how to skate."
Boss: "You totally could. You're strong. Come skate with me at the park."
This turned into a slightly awkward conversation. Do you know why? She believed that I could do something if I just WANTED to do it. Unskilled, overweight me. She believed in me and I've never been able to do that.
