Saturday, April 9, 2011

i've got a dream

.... i just wanna see the floating lanterns gleam!

(Tangled, much?)

So, Karlie's post got me thinking. There are so many things I WISH I could do, but have never tried because of my weight. Now, these are not things that I couldn't do--because I see "bigger" girls doing them--but I would never feel comfortable doing it with the way my body is or was.

Dancing. I LOVE dancing. When I was skinnier, I always wanted to go to the club and dance but could never get any of my friends/family to go with me. Now that I'm bigger (and married... and have kids...) I STILL WANT TO GO! Now I'm too self-conscious and feel like I'd just gross everyone out. (Plus this girl's got no rhythm.)

When I was living in Las Vegas there was a group of mamas that got together for activities. One of the activities they were planning was belly dancing. I wanted to go SO bad. Belly dancing has always intrigued me. The movements, the music, the culture--beautiful. I didn't go.

Doesn't that look amazing and FUN? I should have gone.

Sports. I have always and forever wanted to play sports. My mom and dad put me in several different sports growing up but they fizzled out by middle school. In high school I would go cheer my friends on at every game. I was even the score-keeper for the basketball team for a while. It was so much fun to see my friends doing awesome things. I was very happy for them but most nights I would come home depressed. I wished so badly that I could be out there on the field/court/whatever with my friends and not sitting on the sidelines. I felt so limited because of my body.

I was at work the other day and I was talking to my boss. She's on a roller derby team and I was asking her about the game strategy, etc.

She turned to me and said, "You could do it."

Me: (Loud laughter turns into nervous laughter as I realize she's serious.) "There's no way I could do that. I'd need to lose 50 lbs and learn how to skate."

Boss: "You totally could. You're strong. Come skate with me at the park."

This turned into a slightly awkward conversation. Do you know why? She believed that I could do something if I just WANTED to do it. Unskilled, overweight me. She believed in me and I've never been able to do that.

Why not?




Karlie said...

I'm in!.....for the belly dancing. Roller Derby, not my thing. Lol, more power to ya if you wanted to try it out! I wish things like this were more accessible. That's why I think it would be an awesome idea to start something up myself. If it only were that easy. See you Monday?

Mike said...

Sitting on the sidelines how I felt about life before I started to lose weight.

If you were your most fit self and someone asked you if you wanted to do something would you say yes?

If you would, I would say go for it now. Losing weight is not a crappy thing you must go through so you can eventually do what you want. Living a healthier life means doing the things healthy people would do ... the weight loss is a byproduct of healthy living, not the end-all be-all. Get off the sidelines and into the game now.

Starting At 500 Pounds

sue mertlich said...

Listen to your Momma and your friend!! You could totally do the roller derby thing and you would lose weight and buff up in the process. I don't think I ever told you the story of the lady I met at the PO. She had a pet shop and was overweight. SHe started roller derbying and last I heard, she was on the Olympic team. Just sayin. Love ya

Mama2girls said...

First- I love Tangled. So cute!

Second- Do it!! Do all of them! I have always wanted to be a dancer, but I was blessed with the worst rhythm ever. One of my friends told me to give Zumba a try and I am loving it. I am getting *slightly* more coordinated, at least enough to enjoy the class rather than feeling like an idiot. Next up- belly dancing. I too want to give it a try. One day.

I'll be checking back often to see how Roller Derby goes! You can do it!!

TaLaisa said...

Totally made me cry! That last line, maybe second to last. 'She believed in me and I've never been able to do that.'

I didn't always have a hard time believing in me, I've gotta figure out where that went.

I joined the polynesian club in college, hula dancing, tahitian serious booty shaking. So much fun. And I know people who teach it, we could hook something up.

This weeks breakthrough thought may apply here; 'Quit giving power to the voice that says you can't'. Because it's wrong! You can, we can. That discouraging voice only has power if we give it.

H&M said...

Holy cow Katie! Roller derby is totally awesome! You should do it! I know one of the founders of the Wasatch gang and she is way intense(in a good way). We went to a meet where they kicked the guy teams trash because they're so awesome. If you seriously want to, go for it!!!