Friday, August 22, 2008

{well it's about time!}

Okay, so I've been wanting to make this blog for awhile now, because let's face it- I've gained weight since I've gotten married and if I'm really honest, I started gaining my weight back about a year after I lost it! When did she lose weight you might ask? Well it was about 5 years ago. I was working full time at a fabric shop and I was about 30 years younger than everyone else, so I got stuck lifting the heavy bolts of fabric! It paid off though! The summer I turned 21 I lost about 25lbs and baby, I looked good! But alas, it's all coming back.

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. In about 3rd grade, I started noticing that I was a little bigger than the other girls, but it wasn't until 6th grade and middle school that it really hit me. Kids can be so mean at that age. I remember one day in 9th grade, I was walking down the hall in school and a mentally retarded girl was walking towards me. When she approached me, I smiled at her and she yelled, "YOU FAT!!!" Shocked and embarrassed at what she just said, I just kept on walking down the hall. Now, she wasn't the thinnest broom in the closet either, but I couldn't say something back to her. I mean, she was a special ed kid. Plus, I was never really good at throwing back witty come backs. I always thought of them later, which doesn't do much good when you're in the moment! In fact, after telling my mom the story, she said, "Well, you should have said, 'You fat too, lets be friends!" Haha! Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

It wasn't just the comments that kids would make though, it was the constant insecure feeling. By the time I hit my senior year, I was a confident, funny, chubby girl. I found out that I was pretty funny, but at the same time, I had to be. That was my only weapon against the fat jokes. I always knew I was pretty, but I hated shopping, especially for dance dresses, because I knew it was going to be hard to find something flattering and cute in my size.

When I got to college, I started to lose weight. I was walking to class and eating less. When I transferred down to LDSBC, I started dating a guy who was pretty active. We'd go hiking, on walks, swimming, etc. Plus, I was constantly moving all day at work, lifting heavy bolts of fabric. That was the summer that I lost 25lbs. I think at my lowest I was about 160, and I felt great! Shopping for clothes was fun and my confidence level was through the roof! In fact, I remember buying a pair of jeans in a size 8 and I was thrilled that they actually fit! Now, to some of you, a size 8 might be your norm, but fitting into a single digit size was a huge deal to me!

Unfortunately, over the years I have started gaining the weight back. Before I got married, I was running to lose some weight before the big day, and I actually started to enjoy it! I got a little more toned and I did lose a little, but as we all know, things started getting busy, and then I wasn't exercising, and the pounds came back on. It's a vicious cycle!

So here's the deal. I'll write about my weight loss experience, and you'll support me! Actually, let's support each other! They say you have better success when you have people cheering you on, so each day, I'm going to blog about my success, frustrations, and all the other things that cross my path along my weight loss journey! There will be laughs and definitly tears, but when I reach my goal and slip back into those size 8 jeans, it'll all be worth it!
If you have a weightloss success story to inspire the rest of us, please share it! Send it to and I'll post it on my blog!
Oh, and it wouldn't be a weight loss blog without a "before" picture right? I thought I'd add two, just to spice things up a little.
This was me in October 2003 when I was skin-nay! I still look at that picture and think, "Damn! Girl looks good!" I don't even think I was sucking in, in this picture!
This would be me now. This picture was taken about 3 weeks ago, and when I saw it, all I could do was stare in shock. Was that really me? When did my stomach get that big!? The sad thing is that I'm pretty sure I was sucking in. Wowza! Yes, this will be my "before" picture.


Gavin, Laura, and Sydney said...

Shan- I'm SO proud of you! You go girl! I'm in the same boat!!! I swear, when I put that wedding ring on, I just started to gain... and then after Sydney... Gosh. I have been THINKING about working out and eating better for a long time. Now you've given me the push to get started! Let's get movin'!

Katie said...

Shan! I will join you in about 8 months! haha Seriously, though.. blogs are great motivation for eating right and exercising!

Good on ya, mate!

caitlin said...

Okay Shan,

I have to say that weight loss blogs scare me. They make me feel exposed. So I have to commend you for being so brave. I have another friend who does this, and I can see it's motivated her.

I don't know what it is about marriage, but for some reason the weight just piles on, and doesn't seem to stop. I blame it on new stresses and being constantly busy.
So just know I am in the exact same boat as you.....okay, my boat is quite a bit heavier than yours..(about 50 pounds) yes, that's right I have gained about 50 pounds since I have been married. I only admit this to you because you have been so brave. I am in the process of losing, but I am trying to do it under the radar.. but only because I am a coward.

So basically what I am saying is good luck, and honestly I think you are gorgeous no matter what size you are. Not to mention very fashionable and fun to be with. So now I will cheer you on...


Sarah Marie said...

Hey Shan - first of all, just gotta say, YOU BEAUTIFUL! You are so awesome and gorgeous and brave to be doing this! Yay! We are all very proud of you! And lemme tell you that you motivated me not to go out for dinner but eat this chicken/rice Trader Joes thing instead after reading this blog. Thanks for ruining my dinner Shan! hahah. Just kidding. OK, dangit I did make cookies last night. BAD! Baby steps! When I told John about this, he said we should start a weight lost blog. OH man... Since John and I first started dating four years ago I've gained so much weight. I've gained between 25 and 30 pounds! And I know that it's really unhealthy and my BMI is in the wrong category ... I really need to start working out again. I think your blog is really going to inspire all of us! You are amazing and you can totally do this!!! I know you are going to kick butt and get back in those size 8 jeans in no time. Sigh... size 8 -- I wanna be there too!

Lisa K said...

I'll join you in your weight-loss challenge! I only have 8 more pounds to lose to get to my pre-baby weight, but then I have a lot more to lose that I never should have had in the first place!

JJ, Mands, and Lil said...

This is my new favorite blog. Girl, You are fabulous and gorgeous and I wish we lived closer so we could hang out and inspire eachother. Okay, so I have about 8 more weeks until this baby comes and then I'm on this weight loss journey with ya. Lets just say I have gained a bit more weight with this second baby and going to have alot more to get off. I love how honest, open, and real you are. There are so many girls out there who would love to talk and post things like this, but are just nervous about what other people would think. Thanks for being so YOU! I was reading through you life of ups and downs on the scale and it sounds like every American woman. Good luck with your success and I would love to hear more. I remember one of my nutrition teachers told me, " there is no such thing as a bad or good food, it's just about portion control of them." Totally has helped me. If you really want that Nacho Bel Grande- EAT IT, but don't eat dessert later. ha! Can't wait to read more!

Sarah said...

i dont even know you but wow your blog has totally inspired me. i had a baby almost 6 months ago and i am still struggling to loose the baby weight. It is so depressing. I just recently began to work out again and it feels great. I look forward to watching you hit your goal! Good luck on your journey to size 8!!!!