Thursday, March 17, 2011

kind words

Hooray! I’m down 6 pounds! This morning as I was sitting in my cubicle at work, my phone buzzed and made the familiar sound, letting me know I had received a text message. I usually don’t get texts that early, so I expected it to be the hubs asking a quick question, and I was surprised when I saw it was from my mom!

“Good mornin! I thot u look kinny last nite! Lov mom”

(In case you couldn’t tell, my mom’s still a bit new to texting and shortens most words. Sometimes it’s as if I’m decoding a secret message when I try to read her texts! J Still, I love them!)

After reading her text, I was on cloud nine! My motivation went sky high and my confidence was through the roof! I have been working so hard at losing weight and to have someone tell me I looked thin was the greatest thing I could have heard today! It got me thinking about comments and how a simple comment can give you such a high, or shoot you down. I mean, really think about the comments about your looks that you have received in your lifetime. Anytime a person made a comment that invoked an extreme feeling, you probably remembered it whether it was good or bad.

When I was in 9th grade, we had a choir performance and it was required that we dress up nice. The dress I wore was black with salmon colored poppy flowers on it. It was kind of a long shirt dress style in a rayon/poly blend that ended just above my ankles, with short sleeves, and a point collar with button down front. I loved the dress & felt so good in it! The day of the concert, one of the “popular girls” at school came up to me and said, “Hey Shan! Your dress is so pretty! You look like a hot momma!” It was sincere, kind, and I never felt better, nor have I forgotten it and the way it made me feel.

That same year I was in Spanish class, working on my homework when I overheard the boys behind me say, “Psst…look, Shannon has back fat. *chuckle* I wonder how many rolls she has.”

I sat there mortified, pretending I didn’t hear them as I tried to shift my sweater to cover whatever it was they saw as tears welled up in my eyes. After that, I sat in the back of the classroom. I never wore that sweater again, and I never forgot how awful I felt.

Sadly, even as an adult people still make mean comments. Now when I hear them I just think, “Seriously?! We’re adults!” Of course the comments are far and few between (and usually come from low class people who never learned any manners), and I receive far more kind, uplifting comments than negative ones, but it seems the ones that sting leave a much deeper scar than ones that uplift. Isn’t there a saying that goes something like, “It takes twice the amount of positive comments to erase the negative ones.”

So today, give someone a nice compliment! What is the best compliment you ever received?

7 comments:

The Author said...

Oh Shan, I'm crying for you. I wish I would have been there, I would have slapped that asshat for you.

I happen to think you are beautifu and always have. You have such gorgeous hair and great skin. You have a great smile and your personality and zest shines through your pictures.

And I'm trying to remember a compliment about me and I can't think of a thing. I was recently told something good about my kids and that is the only thing that I can remember. Knowing I'm a good mom means more to me I guess.

Loves ya.

lifeinredshoes said...

I've had a weight problem for as long as I can remember, it is the bain of my existence!
In late elementary school 3 boys used to walk to school behind my chubby friend and I every single day and call us Hippo and Ellie. We started Jr. High chubby but during the summer between 7th and 8th grade we decided NO MORE!
That summer we walked and walked, ate next to nothing and baked our bodies in the hot sun. Upon returning to the same school and same people, this time trim and tanned, everyone assumed I was a new girl? They all wanted to be my friend, get my number, hang out.
These were the same kids that hadn't given me the time of day, what an eye opener it was for this 14 year old girl.
I kept my weight down until after graduation, due to lack of food and extensive walking, no car!
You know what I look like now, but you what? I like myself even better today, I know who I am.
Best compliment wasn't about my outer self, it was when someone told me that I had been the answer to their prayers:)

Bethany said...

I remember in 8th grade when I intercepted a note from the guy I liked to a friend. It said something to the extent that he thought I was fat. At my biggest, I have only ever been maybe 20 pounds overweight. Certainly not skinny, but fat? The world has done an incredible job at selling the notion that anything bigger than a size 4 is too big.

Really though, on to the more uplifting topic of the day. When I thought about your question I didn't think of a specific compliment, but rather a specific person. She is always ready with a kind and sincere compliment. It is apparent that it is second nature for her to not only think kindly of others, but also to share those thoughts. She is an incredible example to me.

Claire said...

In 9th grade one of the popular girls told me I had nice eyebrows. I have never, ever forgotten that. I don't think they are anything extra special or fancy, and back then I never plucked or shaped them, but it was nice to hear that she thought something so small about me was worth complimenting.

Breezy said...

Shan~ One of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a long time came from none other than your Mom. She told me I was one of the best teachers she knows. I felt wonderful and now I strive to live up to those words! Coming from such an accomplished teacher as your mother it means the world to me.
Shan you are absolutely lovely. You light up a room when you enter.
XOXO
gail

kribss said...

always the ones from my dad because they are always out of the blue!

[i have the best smile ever! and he told my mom that i am the best parent out of us kids : ) ]

Whassy said...

I, too, have been overweight most of my life. One of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, was that I had to prettiest eyes they had ever seen! It actually came from a dear friend, and her comment totally lifted my spirits. I tend to be guarded, but my eyes don't lie, so that comment made me feel good!